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Posted today on www.tittybarboss.com

  • May. 6th, 2008 at 6:43 PM
 

Misguided Epiphanies

I distrust epiphanies.

You’re sitting on the couch one day watching the History Channel, eating a bag of Doritos and swigging a 20 oz. Mountain Dew, when a fitness commercial comes on the tube and you suddenly decide you’re tired of your life, you’re sick of being a fat slob couch potato, that you’re going to order that Bowflex and get back into shape, and while you’re at it you’re going to shut off the tv, go outside and cut the grass, clean the gutters, and change the oil in the car while you’re at it.

Afterwards, you’ll whip up a gourmet dinner for the wife and kids, quit your job and go back to school, finish that degree, learn Italian, and – if you have time — perhaps even put in some volunteer work down at the literacy center on weekends.

A few minutes later, after deciding that the Bowflex was too expensive, you relax, go back to the junk food, and finish watching that program on the Nazis, your life-changing epiphany of a few moments before blissfully forgotten.

Epiphanies. Moments of Clarity. Life-changing realizations.

Bullshit.

I’ve been a mopey bastard around the house lately. Just tired, unmotivated, depressed, whatever you want to call it. The planning for the wedding is coming along fine, the baby is doing great, and things have been going well at the club (we’re a bit hit and miss right now, like all titty bars are this time of year, but we’re holding our own and still making money) but I’ve just been down. Tired. Pissy. Moody. I don’t know.

Felicia has noticed and mentioned it several times. I usually mumble some excuse and go on moping the way I was before.

Now she’s about to finish her pre-requisites so she can start school in the fall, and I’m so proud of her for finishing up and doing well on her tests and actually trying to improve her situation; it makes me embarrassed that I’ve become such a slug lately. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still take out the trash and try to keep the place as clean as possible. I still watch the baby daily for at least a few hours and change dirty diapers and all that. Still cook dinner whenever we eat at home. Still go to work and try to do my job as best I can under what are sometimes less than perfect circumstances.

But I just feel like I’m — well, out of sorts somehow. My yin-yang tattoo on my arm is reminding me that my life isn’t balanced as well as it could be. I haven’t been writing at all, which gets me down more than you know, and even the books I’m reading don’t hold my interest.

Mike South wanted us to go to Miami for Exxxotica and see all our friends in the XXX biz, and we really couldn’t afford it. I know we could all use even a short family vacation, but we don’t really know where to go, and don’t know if we’d have the money to go if we could figure out where it was in the first place.

I was talking to Tod Hunter yesterday online and mentioned some ideas I’ve been wanting to work on — he was full of encouragement, as always. As a matter of fact, he said that if I didn’t start writing more he’d fly from California to Dayton and kick my butt.

I love Felicia and the baby. I love my job, although there are plenty of times when it gets me down — that’s true for everyone, though. I wish I had some decent benefits, but nothing’s perfect. I love books, writing, art, music, cooking, and my friends. I’m marrying my soulmate and my best friend this September. I have a beautiful son who it’s my privilege to raise now that I’m 42. I have two beautiful children from a previous marriage who I also love.

Maybe I’m just whining. Maybe I just need to get back to work on the novel and try to plug away at it for an hour or so each day while Hendrix is napping. Maybe I need to get off this couch, shut off this laptop, and go outside and mow the dandelion farm that was once my yard.

Or maybe I’ll just sit here and finish these Doritos. I wonder what’s on the History Channel right now? 

   

Cut and Pasted from TittyBarBoss.com

  • Apr. 2nd, 2008 at 10:48 AM
 

Breaking In

There is a thread on an adult webmaster’s message board which asked a question today that happened to catch my eye.

“Do you let your wife get fucked by other men?”

Now, I couldn’t ignore a question like that, so I clicked on the thread and left the following post, which I also place here for your perusal…

Yes, I have. Love and sex are two different things. Got time for a story?

I met a young lady in October of 1994 while we were both working at the Dayton Airport for an overnight freight carrier. We fell in love a few months later…she was 20 and I was 29 at the time. She had danced off and on since the age of 17…I, at that time, had never stepped foot inside a strip club.

In 1997, at her request, we took a bunch of photos of her at a topless beach on a lake near Dayton, and we sent them out to various men’s magazines and their amateur contests. She won five or six thousand dollars and several of the magazines contacted her for pro layouts. During one of those shoots Peter Wall, then a freelance photographer who was shooting her for SCORE in Florida, took her to see her first feature dancer (Darrien Vain or Rio Rivers, I think). She adopted the name “Felicia Fox” not long after, in August of 1998.

In the summer of 1999, I left my job (building semi trucks on an assembly line) and we took our first feature dance booking through Ken Shinkle at Continental. I also began DJing in strip clubs in between our bookings. In the spring of 2000 we saw Jenna Jameson perform for the first time at Diamonds Cabaret in Dayton, and during the show Felicia turned to me (breathless, stars in her eyes) and said “I want to do porn. I want an audience like this.”

I was, to put it mildly, shocked…we weren’t swingers. Like every other feature dancer who DOESN’T do porn, we had played the game and allowed clubs and agents to make it seem like she was a porn actress — without every having done the work. I thought about it for a few minutes and told her “Okay, as long as you treat it like a job and don’t get caught up in the lifestyle.” At the time, being young and stupid, we thought she would be able to just work with me.

We posted some photos of her on geneross.com, and we were contacted not long after by Dirty Bob and Den from

We met Mike in September, and her first scene was a BBG with Mike and me — it later appeared in Mike South’s Confederate Cuties #4, and is now available for download on his

[Her next film she worked with Ron Jeremy. More Than a Handful #9. First Mike South, then the Hedgehog — Jesus, was someone up there trying to tell me something?]

Long story short — she wound up shooting over 100 films, won several awards, and made alot of money on the feature circuit. Got her coveted boxcovers. She became a “porn star”, though not on Jenna’s level, but she kept her real boobs, small town charm, and sanity intact, which was way more important to me. She got to go out on tour with Tool and A Perfect Circle, got to dance onstage with Kid Rock, and we got to hang out with Korn and Zakk Wylde and Danny Lohner. We moved to the Valley for a few years, had the time of our lives, made a few enemies along the way, and made some great friends who we still see whenever we can.

She never did an anal scene. She never caught an STD. She never got hurt or taken advantage of and she never did one single thing on film that she didn’t want to do.

We wound up with a lifetime of great memories, and it was worth it, for us. We’re still together, now monogamous (again). We live happily in Dayton with our ten-month-old son, Hendrix. And, to come full circle, now Mike South is going to be the best man at our wedding in September, with Dirty Bob taking the wedding photos. We’ve been together for going on 14 years now.

Yes, I’ve let me wife get fucked by other men. I may even be a suitcase pimp, like they say. But, goddammit, I sure am a happy one these days.

__________________
Tim Case
Writer. Strip Club Manager. Suitcase Pimp. Hippie.
http://www.TittyBarBoss.com

TittyBarBoss.com is up and running

  • Apr. 1st, 2008 at 11:59 PM

My own website.

http://www.tittybarboss.com

How very bizarre. 

This is the text of my first post there, by the way...

Ask Not for Whom the Bell Dings…

Years ago I was watching a movie called “Dead Poet’s Society” (not to be confused with Black Label Society, which is a rock band fronted by the great Zakk Wylde and our friend Nick Catanese). Robin Williams played a nonconformist teacher at a prep school in the film, and in one scene he was standing on top of his desk in the classroom questioning his students. There was a bell on his desk — the sort of bell you’d see on a desk in a cheap hotel — that he tapped with his toe at one point when a student gave a wrong answer, in the manner of a game show host saying “Wrong answer…Thank you for playing”…(ding), then going on to the next contestant.

 I liked that. I resolved back then that if I ever had my own desk, I’d have a bell on it.

The silver bell, much abused, now sits on the corner of my desk next to the double-headed dildo, and the strippers who gather in my office when they should be working take delight in ringing the bell whenever someone in the office insults another person with unusually great accuity.

“Jade”, however, came up with another use for the bell last Saturday night. She managed to somehow affix it to the front of her g-string, and she then proceeded to walk around the office asking people to “ring her bell” and give her a buck. I told her she should go onstage and dance to Anita Ward’s “Ring My Bell” and do the same thing to customers, forgetting of course that “Ring My Bell” was a disco hit way back in 1979, a good ten years before Jade was born. Managing a titty bar at the age of 42 can really drive home to you how old you’re getting.

She liked the idea, but instead elected to go onstage with a large plastic turd tucked in the back of her g-string, hanging from her butt crack. I’m not sure if she danced to “Aqualung” or not.

Kids these days. Go figure.





My Blog

  • Mar. 25th, 2008 at 6:41 PM
 LiveJournal is fun, god knows -- but the times they are a-changing, as Bob Dylan sang years ago, and The Sausage Factory is about to change with them. 

Felicia and I are working on some projects. I'll write more about them as we go on, but for now suffice to say that this journal will be moving in the near future to a new URL. 

Keep an eye out for www.TittyBarBoss.com. Future online home of yours truly.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Yo Pharoah... Dude, Let My Peeps Go"

  • Mar. 25th, 2008 at 6:16 PM
Moses was high on drugs: Israeli researcher
Mar 4 08:07 AM US/Eastern
 


View larger image

 
High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.

Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.

"As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don't believe, or a legend, which I don't believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics," Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday.

Moses was probably also on drugs when he saw the "burning bush," suggested Shanon, who said he himself has dabbled with such substances.

"The Bible says people see sounds, and that is a clasic phenomenon," he said citing the example of religious ceremonies in the Amazon in which drugs are used that induce people to "see music."

He mentioned his own experience when he used ayahuasca, a powerful psychotropic plant, during a religious ceremony in Brazil's Amazon forest in 1991. "I experienced visions that had spiritual-religious connotations," Shanon said.

He said the psychedelic effects of ayahuasca were comparable to those produced by concoctions based on bark of the acacia tree, that is frequently mentioned in the Bible.

 

 

Mar. 23rd, 2008

  • 3:51 AM
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Weird...

  • Mar. 12th, 2008 at 8:42 AM
I have to admit that, when I started this blog, the last thing in the world I ever imagined was that Ellen Datlow (www.datlow.com), an editor for whom I have a great deal of respect, would be exchanging messages on my comments page with "Breeze" http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=162804864,  a dancer for whom I have a great deal of respect.
 
It's a strange world.

Someone oughta sell tickets.  

Four...

  • Mar. 4th, 2008 at 10:59 AM
 A) Four jobs I have had in my life (other than current job)

Forklift driver, clerk in a comic book shop, Assembly Line Worker (building Semi trucks), Adult Film Cameraman

B) Four movies I would watch over and over

The Godfather, Blue Velvet, The Exorcist, Chasing Amy

C) Four places I have lived

Point Pleasant, WV...Reseda, CA...Fairborn, OH...Dayton OH

D) Four TV shows that I watch

"Classic Albums" on VH-1 Classic, "Modern Marvels" on History Channel, David Letterman, and the news.

E) Four places I have been

The "Hollywood" sign in LA, Graceland in Memphis, HP Lovecraft's Grave in Providence RI, the top of the World Trade Center in August 2000 

F) People who e-mail me regularly
My friends Mike South, Ed Adimey, Vinnie Bubiglia, and Aaron Wells.

G) Four of my favourite foods
Lasagna, Pizza, Chicken Korma, and Sushi.

H) Four places I would rather be right now
West Palm Beach, Los Angeles, New York, Flagstaff, AZ

J) Four things I am looking forward to this year
Beth's birthday, Our wedding, Hendrix's first birthday in June, Halloween 

K) Four (of my) favourite authors
Harlan Ellison, William T. Vollmann, Lucius Shepard, Thomas Pynchon

Meanwhile, Back at the Batcave...

  • Mar. 4th, 2008 at 10:44 AM

Yes, I'm aware that it's been two full months since I last posted to this journal. "Breeze", a dancer at the club who has a real job and a real life and whom we all adore, has been riding my ass every week because she says she's tired of reading about Ellen Datlow's INFERNO. All I have to say to that is "Go make some sausage gravy, beee-yatch, lol."

It's been a shitty week. The county water department dug up my front yard and replaced it with a four foot by three foot trench filled with gravel. Hendrix was cutting his fourth tooth earlier in the week and he was a bit fussy, though that's all right now. Felicia has been having nightmares, I think because of the stress of planning a wedding, getting ready to go back to school, taking care of an active nine month old, etc. Then I was forced to let go one of the people at the club whose company I really enjoyed...been pretty down about it for a week now, but there was simply nothing I could do about it. My hands were tied on this one by circumstances I had nothing to do with, and it was just one of those situations where -- well, the Owner, god love him, pays me well to take care of situations like this, so I did. It sucks. Nuff said. (But -- if you're reading this --  I'll miss ya, bro.)

I DJ'd a shift on Friday night -- the first time I've DJ'd an entire shift since I took over managing the club. It was fun, and everyone seemed pleased -- we made money, which is more than some of the clubs in town can say these days.
 
I've slacked off on writing for the Dayton City Paper for the time being, as they owe me a shitpile of money (over $250.00) for various pieces. $250 doesn't sound like alot until you realize that I only get $30 per piece, along with meal reimbusement when I review local restaurants. So we'll be holding off on writing that book review of William Vollmann's RIDING TOWARD EVERYWHERE until I see a paycheck with my name on it for some of the money I'm owed.

Mike South is coming to town March 15th or so -- should be a fun week, filled with sushi and bukkakes.

Don't ask.



 

Book Review: Ellen Datlow's INFERNO

  • Jan. 7th, 2008 at 8:27 AM




NEW BOOK OF FRIGHTS PERFECT FOR A NEW YEAR

by

Tim Case Walker

  

INFERNO
Edited by Ellen Datlow
Hardcover, 384 pp.
Tor Books (Dec ‘07)
ISBN: 0765315580 

Lovers of dark fantasy fiction and tales of the supernatural are quick to point out that such stories, far from being solely an invention of late twentieth century writers like Stephen King, Dean Koontz, and Clive Barker, have actually been popular for centuries. The horror story, they say, has been a staple of popular literature since the days of Edgar Allan Poe, and some of our greatest, most moving and enduring examples of modern literature are firmly rooted in the horror tradition: witness Mary Shelley’s FRANKENSTEIN, W. W. Jacobs’s "The Monkey’s Paw", Bram Stoker’s DRACULA, William Peter Blatty’s THE EXORCIST, and Shirley Jackson’s "The Lottery" – a story whose original publication in the staid pages of The New Yorker brought shrieks of outrage to the magazine’s "Letters" section which lasted for months afterwards.

And right they are, these lovers of scary fare. "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown", wrote one of their own, H.P. Lovecraft himself, old Providence spook and creator of the Cthulhu Mythos, and he hit the proverbial coffin nail right on the head – horror fiction is with us to stay, and who among us, after all, doesn’t love a good ghost story, even if it’s one cooked up by a couple of teenagers with some Karo syrup and a video camera and then distributed on YouTube? Those faux frights can sometimes make life’s Real Big Fears – death, divorce, disease – a bit easier to deal with, and settling in on your couch with a new book that’s filled with masterfully-written tales designed to raise the hackles on your neck (only when you’re alone in the house, of course, and with just the one lamp to keep you company, you poor thing), well, that’s just the idea of a perfect evening for many more of you than would deign to admit it in the midst of more polite, more snifflingly literary, company.

Ellen Datlow is a lover of short horror fiction, and her work as one of the best-known and most-loved editors in the field of fantastic literature is unparalleled. Her previous collections, with titles such as A WHISPER OF BLOOD, LITTLE DEATHS and THE DARK: NEW GHOST STORIES, set the standard for anthologies of frightening tales, and her work as co-editor for 20 years of THE YEAR’S BEST FANTASY AND HORROR series puts her in a unique position to assemble a new, state-of-the-dark-art horror anthology, her first to not feature a unifying theme, surprisingly. It is as if she made only one request to each one of her contributing authors – Scare me. Just scare me.

They’ve succeeded, of course, and admirably. One of my favorite stories in the book, "The Monsters of Heaven" by Nathan Ballingrud, first breaks your heart by describing the painful collapse of a marriage after a child is abducted from a park when the father falls asleep. Juxtaposed against this backdrop is the appearance of strangely injured angelic creatures which are at the time being found all over the globe. The story really hits home and never shies away from examining in detail the pain and raw emotions of a couple dealing with their own private hell. All in all, a harrowing, effective story. Stephen Gallagher’s "Misadventure" provides us with nothing less than a new way of looking at life and death, and fans of ghost stories and hauntings will enjoy it. Pat Cadigan’s "Stilled Life" is a masterful character-driven piece about still modeling – when models pretend to be mannequins, or in this case statues – in London that gets carried to a chilling extreme.

Internationally-renowned author Joyce Carol Oates is represented here with a fine, scary tale called "Face", and solid tales from authors such as Lucius Shepard, Christopher Fowler, and Terry Dowling round out what is a uniformly excellent collection of fiction. All told, Ellen Datlow’s INFERNO presents you with twenty stories -- some are quite successful, some a bit less so, but all are representative of the healthy condition and vitality of the modern short horror story.

I highly recommend this book to any reader that loves a good story. Editor Ellen Datlow is to be commended for her body of work, and this latest collection of hers deserves to be widely read.

"Glengarry Glen Ross"

  • Jan. 4th, 2008 at 10:27 AM
The movie "Glengarry Glen Ross"

I fucking love that fucking movie. Just...fuck. 

Football Pool

  • Jan. 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 PM
 After a mediocre start of 16-16 during the first two weeks of the AdultFYI.com football pool, I actually finished the season with a final week of 13-3 and wound up with a decent overall record, which is a shock considering I still haven't watched a complete football game from start to finish in over ten years.
 
(from www.adultfyi.com)

 "For the last week of the season Tim Case thought totally outside of the box [and you have to this late in the season] and came up with the weekend's best results at 13-3. Here's how the final standings look:

Karl the Birdman: 177-79
Sean,
www.pornlegends.com : 171-85
Willie D: 169-87
Dan Davis: 166-90
Gene Ross, Tim Case: 165-91
Mastrick: 164-92
John Gray: 161-95
Jack Spade, Ryan from Jerry's Deli: 156-100
Billy the Crystal, Steve Seidman: 155-101
Mike Dickinson: 149-107
Sandy Bunz,
www.sandybunz.com :140-116
Steve Lane, Serenity,
www.serenity.net : 137-119
Wankus: 136-120
Brian Wallace: 125-131"

Merry Merry Happy Whatthefuckever

  • Dec. 24th, 2007 at 10:04 AM
Merry Christmas to you if you're reading this -- I hope your holiday is everything you want it to be. 

Much love and happiness, health and prosperity, I pray for all of us in the coming year,

Tim, Felicia, & Hendrix  

INFERNO, edited by Ellen Datlow

  • Dec. 19th, 2007 at 10:26 AM
My restaurant review of Milano's on North Dixie should run in the Dayton City Paper tomorrow. Milano's has good food and I've eaten there many times in the past -- they're also struggling a bit financially right now (as so many businesses are) and I wanted to try and do something to help them out. I hope the review brings in a new customer or two.

Tor Books sent me a new collection via FedEx yesterday. It's the new anthology of short stories edited by Ellen Datlow, called INFERNO, and I'm anxious to read and review it for the Dayton City Paper. I'm just waiting on my editor to respond to an email query I sent him on Monday  to see if he wants a 850-word review of it. I hope to hear from him today.

This is how amazon.com lists the book's description:

Book Description
As stated in her introduction to Inferno, Ellen Datlow asked her favorite authors for stories that would 'provide the reader with a frisson of shock, or a moment of dread so powerful it might cause the reader outright physical discomfort; or a sensation of fear so palpable that the reader feels compelled to turn on the bright lights and play music or seek the company of others to dispel the fear.'Mission accomplished. Datlow has produced a collection filled with some of the most powerful voices in the field: Pat Cadigan, Terry Dowling, Jeffrey Ford, Christopher Fowler, Glen Hirshberg, K. W. Jeter, Joyce Carol Oates, and Lucius Shepard, to name a few. Each author approaches fear in a different way, but all of the stories' characters toil within their own hell. An aptly titled anthology, Inferno will scare the pants off readers and further secure Ellen Datlow's standing as a preeminent editor of modern horror. 

Tags:

C is for Cookie

  • Dec. 19th, 2007 at 10:15 AM
Sesame Street was brought to you today by the letter O and the number 6. Just thought you'd want to know.